Life
I will begin documenting my own adventures as others have stated I appear detached from what could be my own death. Realizing that many are offended by the term ‘breasts’ in a public forum, I will substitute the word ‘chest’ instead. This will also reduce the number of visits by those who tend to enjoy the body part for various other reasons and are directed here by search.
Detached? No. I live it day by day.
It has become odd that women who have this disease no longer view their chest as a feminine part of their body; instead it has become an odd mixture of being repelled and fearful, sadness and dismay. My chest has become my enemy of sorts this year. No longer familiar as what was once a secret source of pride for most women. So I awake, hoping somehow the complications have disappeared and it was simply a bad dream. The pain and bleeding reminds me it has not and I cringe, changing clothes each day.
Showering has become a game of not looking, not touching, not recognizing my chest. I have had the problem diagnosed by multiple doctors and a prominent hospital; yet I do not want to hear recognition by the medical field. I think of the doctors who helped the State by stating it was not there, and I wonder, how they can fathom doing such acts to another human, yet I witnessed it first hand.
It has been since November when the Condition was first found of 2008. Seven months now. I suspect the hidden diagnosis gives me until the Ninth month before it becomes life threatening since so many I have been researching have constantly stated the “ninth month.” Two more months to go before I suspect there will be no turning back. The price of exposing corruption appears to be high in the State of Florida.
Today I visit a local and I might add Terrified PCP out of the State and Local Health Care district. I had submitted in writing a request for an MRI as my condition has slid down further concerning my chest. There is now a burning, skin feeling with or without touch to the chest, but more prominant with any contact of clothing. This symptom was not present in November of 2008 when the Condition was first found. The PCP agreed to treat another and I state this openly -apparently violant reaction at the orders of Barbara Soloman, Risk Manager of the County working with the State AHCA programs who interferered with my medical care at the urgancy of the origonal PCP having discovered I had documented fraud by a refering friend who claimed, there was no discharge, and completely blew his false diagnosis on paper so sure of his own backing by the County. His diagnosis will be uploaded soon as well as my legal filed response. Barbara then ordered me to one of HER associated Surgeons involved in local medicaid fraud sanctioned by the county and he also produced a false report easily overthrown to cover for the first.
I then switched PCP’s and came across this one. He is new in the County and does not want to “rock the boat of medical Politics” he stated. However, the origonal PCP was kind enough to prescribe medication that created a suspected ulcer and I had to have treatment. He agreed to treat the other issues and I agreed to not ask for the Much needed MRI which would likely show I have a diseased chest and expose the corruption of those involved.
So I see him and I have to reply, it is very likley he will contact Ms. Soloman for instructions as the others did prior to seeing me. Happening? Yes. Very much so.
They are attempting to block medical treatment all together to avoid my having a formidable record and I am of course, not assisting them with that goal.
It is a Southern Belle thang:}
The results are in. There is a lump and it has grown. I can state this because the size has now pushed the left chest to be larger than the right so there is no way it can openly be disclaimed as before.
The look on the new pcp’s face was priceless when he found it just seconds later: apparently he thought I had been reacting to the ‘potential’ of a lump and cancer due to the findings of the right surgery to remove a growth in 2006 or a hysterical reaction. Based on the Previous released information’s of the unethical Doctors. I thought he was going to jump back, his eyes expanded and he almost shouted “You have a LUMP here!” I smiled.
Of course I have a lump there. And it is large and it has been growing for months and likely is blocking blood flow which in turn likely is producing the bleeding that “is not found”. He does not think it has invaded the lymph nodes yet. What to do now? Who knows with the present system set up. It is a sad day in America when a woman is happy to have on her medical records at last a confirmed diagnosis of a potentially deadly lump in her chest.
On discovering from the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, there has been a dedicated blacklist file created over me for years, going back at this point to the orders of Jeb Bush, Republican Gov., our last tracking of such in 2005, my thoughts raced streamline to those of my young child then and all she has had to endure because I am a Democrat, registered in this state. FDLE has the only authority to distribute files on individuals to multiple state agencies under a Dedicated files law created with the assumption that it would benefit the State in the hunt of child abductions. Never give a Politician an open door in Florida by such laws. I gained the files after filing a formal complaint over the first officer who refused to release all the files as requested last week. He sent me more, but we have no doubt there are many more under my previous name before a judge changed it after testifying over the stalker. We suspect they go back as far as 1995.
I wrote my daughter and told her what I had found out about our lives, the ignorance of the people involved. Then, I apologized to her for all she had to endure because some person somewhere thought it was a wonderful idea to promote candidates by attacking single mothers instead. I cried for all she had experienced and did not need to experience.
The files sent were so ridiculous, the so called request to investigate me by the Republican AG when I reported the fraud of an online University who was under investigation for…Fraud by the Fed Courts and the Justice Department in California. When I reported the same crimes in Florida, the AG did not investigate them, they added to the already compiled file on me as some type of apparent warning to State employees I had touched a money bag dona tor.
I must have ranked right up there on that one as some foreign man applying for a helicopter license rated.
It would make me laugh, but the thought that a small child was tossed to the lions because some politician had some goal is not very funny right now. Especially if that child was born from your own womb.